Preserving Love
by ConnectingVeins
Summary: Illness can strike down even the hardiest of individuals. Rachel usually works through her pain, but when her body finally gives in, a certain light-haired butler tends to her.


Even though the temperature had reached the negative range outside, my body burned and sweat dripped off my brow. The bed had held my body for the entire morning, the comforter laying discarded on the floor, only a thin blanket clinging to me. I would have removed it, but my sweetheart kept draping it over me, saying that my cold could get worse without it. I was too weak to fight with him, so I gave in and let him take care of me.

Despite my sickness, I still wanted to rise from my bed to finish the chores around the farm. The snow fell for the past few days, leaving the town a glistering field of white. Today's rain turned it all to slush. At least the crops were fine. All of the plants were in their adult stages and were well equipped to handle harsh winter weather. I just worried for my animals. Many of them were delicate and unused to this climate and all of the wooly animals were shorn. I loved each and every one of them, and should something happen-

"Rachael, I just called Neil. He is on his way, and he will be tending to your animals today."

I opened my eyes and lifted my head a bit to see Sanjay standing by the wall that separated the "bedroom" from the kitchen. My house was a single room building, although sections of it were used for different purposes.

"Oh… Thank you…" I said in a raspy voice. I coughed and let my head drop back down into my pillow, a headache forming. Somehow, he always seemed to anticipate my needs before I could ever want them.

The day before, Sanjay noticed that I seemed ill before I had felt even the smallest symptom. He saw the pallor of my face and how worn out I seemed. I attributed this to a hard day's work, but he insisted that I go home immediately and get rest. Despite my complaints, he took me by the hand and walked me home. It was good that he did, as my head felt light while we walked, and I doubt I would have made it without him.

"All of your work for today is already taken care of. Just lie back and rest." He said that night as he tucked me in. By that point, I was nearly passed out. "It's wonderful that you put so much effort into your work, but… It worries me. I keep thinking that you'll eventually injure yourself severely, and…" He paused. He had not been looking at me, but was staring off more towards the corner of my bed.

He met my eyes and gave me a smile. "Please take care of yourself. That's all I can ask. Can you promise me that?"

I nodded.

"Thank you." And, to my surprise, he leaned over and gave me a kiss on the forehead. We had only been dating for two and a half seasons, and had not yet kissed. A felt my skin grow red and hoped my illness would hide the blush.

When he straightened up, he looked worried. "You have a fever… Are you certain you do not want me to bring Doctor Klaus here-?" I shook my head roughly the moment I heard "doctor". I despised going to that man. His clinic hurt my eyes with all of the white, made me sneeze, and whenever I did manage to escape from the man, I felt worse than before I entered. He was the last person I needed to see.

Sanjay smiled a little, knowing exactly why I reacted so strongly. He would have normally taken me to the doctor right away, but probably figured there was nothing Klaus could do, anyway. He looked at my nightstand, made of a light colored wood, and noticed that my water cup was empty. He filled it, and when he returned, he noticed my diary that was set on the table.

"What's this?" He asked, placed the cup down and fingering the book. It was green, leather bound and a bit worn. I had it since the beginning of high school, and still wrote in it to this day.

"My journal… Don't read it, it's not very interesting…" I said. I wasn't sure about the truth of that statement, but I just really, _really_ didn't want him to look at it. There were some pretty embarrassing events recorded in those yellowed pages, and I'd rather forget them.

He looked at me seriously. "Anything about you interests me. If I could, I would walk alongside you for your entire life, past, present, and future, just to see what made you into the woman that I love."

I looked away, a little embarrassed, and I heard him laugh. I wasn't the most romantic type, but he did manage to make my heart beat just a bit faster.

He stood there for a moment, unsure of what to say, when he looked at my clock and noticed the time. "Ah, I'm terribly sorry… I must go. Master Amir will be expecting me shortly, and I cannot keep him waiting… Will you be alright on your own?"

I nodded. "Well, if you need anything at all, don't hesitate to get help from your neighbors. I'll be here as quickly as I can manage." He gripped my hand and gave it a light squeeze. I bet he wanted to give me a hug, but felt it would be inappropriate. "I'll try to come by in the morning. Sleep well, and goodnight."

I whispered "Goodnight" as my voice had become weak, although I was unsure if he heard it. The last I remembered was the lights going out and the sound of the door closing.

He came over while I was still asleep, as I awoke to the sound of a teapot whistling. At first, I did not recognize the sound. I was not overly fond of tea, although I hid that from Sanjay. Even from here, I could smell it, an herbal tea. Mint, I think, one of the few that I liked. And there's only one person who would know what tea that I preferred.

I sat up, the blanket scratching me with worn out threads. I noticed was that my house seemed a bit cleaner. The only mess that was untouched was my pile of clothing in the corner of the room. It seems Sanjay did more than just make tea while I slept.

Hearing me shift in bed, Sanjay came into view. "Good morning! I trust you slept well?"

"Yeah, I don't even remember falling asleep." My voice sounded worse than the day before. My throat strained to make the words audible and that effort stung.

"Excellent." He came over to bed, bringing a dining chair with him. After placing the chair by my bedside, he returned to the kitchen and bought back with him two cups of tea, which he set on the nightstand. Steam rose from them, reminding me of my fever.

He sat down in the chair. "Master Amir said I could stay with you for the day. Ordinarily, I would worry about leaving him for so long, but… I believe that you need me more."

I didn't say anything, as I knew it would hurt my voice. I could still feel it burning after I spoke earlier. It wasn't necessary to say anything, as we both knew that he was right.

The rain grew louder, pelting the roof so that it almost sounded like hail. Maybe it was. A vision of Neil trudging up to my farm in this weather made me smile. The sour animal dealer had given me more than a few gruff comments in the past, so I didn't feel sorry for him. At least I could count on him to help. We might not like each other much, but neither of us would let that bring harm to our animals. Had he fallen sick, I would have helped him out without hesitation.

"Did you think of something nice?" Sanjay asked, noticing the look on my face.

"No… It's nothing." My response didn't seem to satisfy him. It's not like I could have told him. Sanjay likely wouldn't find my enjoyment of Neil's suffering to be something to smile about.

He glanced at the tea cups, both of which were still steaming. Then, his eyes fell back on the journal, staying there for a few moments before looking back up at me.

"I bought it up to Master Amir last night, that you wrote in a journal. Apparently, he owns one, too. I never knew that, and when I inquired as to how long he had owned one, he said that he's had it since he was a child…" He paused, a new emotion gripping him, marked by a bittersweet smile. "It's strange to think, that after all these years, there are still things that I do not yet know about him."

"It's normal." I struggled to say. "Don't worry about it."

"I know. But, he said that he actually has a few. He's written in them every single day. He said that he's written about me often. It was made me wonder... About how often you write about me." Apparently, I made a face at this, so he added, "You don't need to tell me. I know it's private."

We remained silent for a few minutes, the rain relenting for the time being. Then, a clap of thunder that made us both jump, drawing us out of the silence.

"I apologize if this topic is a bit uncomfortable. But, I just couldn't stop thinking about it… Writing has always fascinated me, with how lives can be preserved for hundreds of years, or how new worlds can be created from nothing… I hope that, someday, when we are long gone, someone might look through your journal and find my name in there. And, I hope they can see how happy we were, and that we were fortunate enough to live for a long time with each other. It makes me feel like we might be able to always be together, maybe even after we have passed."

This took me aback, as it was the last thing I was expecting him to say. When I confessed to him, it seemed like I had forced him into it. That he didn't really care for me, but was too nice to say no. And, for a long time, it felt like my feelings were one sided. Hearing this gave me a sense of relief, but, at the same time, a bit of guilt. I had not written often in my journal. Only about once a week, and even then, I only wrote a few sentences about some of the big things that had happened. And, truthfully, Sanjay's name had only appeared within its pages a few times before.

"I would like that very much…" I mentally scolded myself for the weak response, after what he had just said. But I really didn't know how to reply to that. Sanjay seemed pleased all the same.

"That's makes me so happy to hear, Rachael." He glanced at the tea, his smile the widest I had seen since I had fallen ill. "It might be ready now. It'll still be hot though, so be careful."

I sat up and took a tea cup and took a small sip. It was just warm enough to drink. After another sip, the pain in my throat eased up. Thanking him for the tea, I smiled. Perhaps today wouldn't be so bad after all.

Later that night, after Sanjay had no choice but to leave, I wrote in my journal.

_December 3rd,_

_Sanjay came over today. I felt bad since he had to take care of me all day, but I liked having him over. We don't get to spend a lot of time with each other because we're so busy. I woke up feeling like I got ran over by a herd of cows, but he made me feel better just by being there. No one except my parents have ever made me feel like that._

_He said something really sweet. That he would like to be in my journal more often and that he hopes we can spend the rest of our lives together. Another thing no one's ever said to me before. I dunno, it's just so weird. I hoped that he liked me the same way but I never thought that he actually would._

_He said he was going to come over again tomorrow to make sure I'm alright. I'd usually feel bad about putting him through so much trouble, but I can't wait to wake up again tomorrow and see him. I almost wish that I could be sick longer, so that I could see him more._

_I've never felt this way before. I want to call it love, but I think it's too soon. I guess I'll just have to wait and see. I think I'll enjoy every second of it._


End file.
